2003-05-21
Had a rough night, lots of crying, couldn't sleep.
Every song reminded me of her..
I got our song out of the list, but still it's always finding its way back into my head..
Remembered of her so many times, you know what? it's not so many times, it's all the time, I can't stop thinking about her..
She was my light
She turned herself off
But I'm still looking for the button
So I could turn her on again
I can't let go
Even if I wanted to (which I'm not)..
I told her some really yucky stuff yesterday's night, but, I mean, can you blame me? I'm fucking hurt, damn it!
I love her, she says she loves me, her problem is the commitment, she cannot be fully commited to people...
Too bad uh?
Yap..
Well, there's nothing I can do at the moment... besides I don't know, besides everything.
I love her.
She says she loves me.
We're not together.
I never understood that kind of stuff, when two people love each other, there shouldn't be anything more so they could have a relationship...
But everyone says there should be more, I don't understand that.
She betrayed my trust, but it's still there, damn it, it's still there, I still trust her...
I still want her, and need her, and love her, and miss her, and crave for her, and want to be there for her, and want her to be there for me, but as it seems now, there won't be any being there for none of us, she doesn't want to bring it back.
She says, I've changed, she and Lutzush told me I've changed.
Lutzush was at least able to explain herself, she says I've change like for the fact that I'm reading, which is pretty funny, because I don't like to read but I read every single word of her posts\letters\poems\monologs\stories.
May says I've changed.
How?
My attention to the world, has changed, like I act different or something, and frankly, I don't see it, and neither my friends (other than Lutzush or The Little who says she sees me in a whole different light, because I'm not naive anymore or something, because I've experienced stuff that I've never experienced before)... anyways, I'm off.
See Ya!
Every song reminded me of her..
I got our song out of the list, but still it's always finding its way back into my head..
Remembered of her so many times, you know what? it's not so many times, it's all the time, I can't stop thinking about her..
She was my light
She turned herself off
But I'm still looking for the button
So I could turn her on again
I can't let go
Even if I wanted to (which I'm not)..
I told her some really yucky stuff yesterday's night, but, I mean, can you blame me? I'm fucking hurt, damn it!
I love her, she says she loves me, her problem is the commitment, she cannot be fully commited to people...
Too bad uh?
Yap..
Well, there's nothing I can do at the moment... besides I don't know, besides everything.
I love her.
She says she loves me.
We're not together.
I never understood that kind of stuff, when two people love each other, there shouldn't be anything more so they could have a relationship...
But everyone says there should be more, I don't understand that.
She betrayed my trust, but it's still there, damn it, it's still there, I still trust her...
I still want her, and need her, and love her, and miss her, and crave for her, and want to be there for her, and want her to be there for me, but as it seems now, there won't be any being there for none of us, she doesn't want to bring it back.
She says, I've changed, she and Lutzush told me I've changed.
Lutzush was at least able to explain herself, she says I've change like for the fact that I'm reading, which is pretty funny, because I don't like to read but I read every single word of her posts\letters\poems\monologs\stories.
May says I've changed.
How?
My attention to the world, has changed, like I act different or something, and frankly, I don't see it, and neither my friends (other than Lutzush or The Little who says she sees me in a whole different light, because I'm not naive anymore or something, because I've experienced stuff that I've never experienced before)... anyways, I'm off.
See Ya!
Labels: Failure
2003-05-20
Well, May cheated on me, then wanted a Time-out, then broke up with me.
I feel so gooooood! *not*
Anyways, I'm getting the hack out of here, need to do a bit thinking, or something..
Tomorrow there's a test, in Cinema..
But it's not really Cinema, it's like, the History of the Cinema.. bla bla bla, exactly.
Well, hope it'll be a good one :) (have I just smiled? weirdo!)
See ya..
I feel so gooooood! *not*
Anyways, I'm getting the hack out of here, need to do a bit thinking, or something..
Tomorrow there's a test, in Cinema..
But it's not really Cinema, it's like, the History of the Cinema.. bla bla bla, exactly.
Well, hope it'll be a good one :) (have I just smiled? weirdo!)
See ya..
Labels: Failure
2003-05-18
Hehe, this is nice :)
That's my third blog around the net, it is currently secretly here, no one knows about it.
Actually, it's pretty funny, I told my girlfriend today on the phone "I've opened a new blog" but she didn't say anything, she was like moving on to another subject, though the conversation was pretty quick and short because of her strict father.. so I don't know..
I will tell her.. in a few days\weeks..
It's not that it's so important, I mean, nobody will give a damn anyway...
That's weird, I think I decided that I won't curse here...
And what is so weird about that? The fact is that 10% of my english-speaking's vocabulary today consists of dirty words, curses and swearing...
Well, I will see how it goes and I will might change it in the future or something...
Damn, now I have to write three blogs at a time! loads of writing... well, it will improve my english writing and I'll get a higher grade, yay, how important is that for me? mmm... NONE!
I got no problems with english writing, most of my songs are in english, I believe I got a couple of english monologues (how do I write it? monolog or monologue?) as well.
I like the band InMe, know them? It's a Grunge band, same style as Nirvana (Grunge...), they got pretty cool tunes, it's my favorite band, InMe's tune "Natural" is my favorite I think, or is it "Trenches"? Gee, I don't know, ohh... what the hack.. I LOVE THEM ALL!
It's a british band, 3 members, Dave (Vocals & Guitar), Joe (Backing Vocals & Bass) and Simon (Drums), their debut album "Overgrown Eden" has reached number 15 in the UK charts, the album has finally reached here!!
It was released here in Israel some days ago, my internet friend Luchi tracked it down in a local CD's store "Tzlil".
That's cool, but I think I will still buy it off the net, because here you can't buy their singles (4 Singles and counting :)...), only their albums (only 1 for now... they're pretty new), so I'll buy the first cd of each single (the ones I don't have yet) and their album off Amazon.co.uk, it's pretty cheap there if you buy few thing at once, you include the postal fee only once, so it's good for me, I bought their single "FireFly" (CD1) off Amazon.co.uk too. I gotta buy "Crushed Like Fruit" (CD1) and "Neptune" (CD1) and "Overgrown Eden", their great album!
I got all of their tunes' lyrics, orginized them nicely and sent it to my dad's work e-mail and he printed the whole thing for me, like 17 pages of InMe lyrics, of their songs' Single Versions, Demo Versions, Album Versions, their B-Sides and everything..
Done some really cool job with that :)
I thing I will stop writing for now... It's monday tomorrow, means, actually - nothing...
See ya lovely people! :))
Good night..
That's my third blog around the net, it is currently secretly here, no one knows about it.
Actually, it's pretty funny, I told my girlfriend today on the phone "I've opened a new blog" but she didn't say anything, she was like moving on to another subject, though the conversation was pretty quick and short because of her strict father.. so I don't know..
I will tell her.. in a few days\weeks..
It's not that it's so important, I mean, nobody will give a damn anyway...
That's weird, I think I decided that I won't curse here...
And what is so weird about that? The fact is that 10% of my english-speaking's vocabulary today consists of dirty words, curses and swearing...
Well, I will see how it goes and I will might change it in the future or something...
Damn, now I have to write three blogs at a time! loads of writing... well, it will improve my english writing and I'll get a higher grade, yay, how important is that for me? mmm... NONE!
I got no problems with english writing, most of my songs are in english, I believe I got a couple of english monologues (how do I write it? monolog or monologue?) as well.
I like the band InMe, know them? It's a Grunge band, same style as Nirvana (Grunge...), they got pretty cool tunes, it's my favorite band, InMe's tune "Natural" is my favorite I think, or is it "Trenches"? Gee, I don't know, ohh... what the hack.. I LOVE THEM ALL!
It's a british band, 3 members, Dave (Vocals & Guitar), Joe (Backing Vocals & Bass) and Simon (Drums), their debut album "Overgrown Eden" has reached number 15 in the UK charts, the album has finally reached here!!
It was released here in Israel some days ago, my internet friend Luchi tracked it down in a local CD's store "Tzlil".
That's cool, but I think I will still buy it off the net, because here you can't buy their singles (4 Singles and counting :)...), only their albums (only 1 for now... they're pretty new), so I'll buy the first cd of each single (the ones I don't have yet) and their album off Amazon.co.uk, it's pretty cheap there if you buy few thing at once, you include the postal fee only once, so it's good for me, I bought their single "FireFly" (CD1) off Amazon.co.uk too. I gotta buy "Crushed Like Fruit" (CD1) and "Neptune" (CD1) and "Overgrown Eden", their great album!
I got all of their tunes' lyrics, orginized them nicely and sent it to my dad's work e-mail and he printed the whole thing for me, like 17 pages of InMe lyrics, of their songs' Single Versions, Demo Versions, Album Versions, their B-Sides and everything..
Done some really cool job with that :)
I thing I will stop writing for now... It's monday tomorrow, means, actually - nothing...
See ya lovely people! :))
Good night..
Labels: Failure
Well hello!
This is my first post...
Ammm... have nothing to write right now...
I'll tell you a little bit about myself:
Me is PhistucK :)
From Israel
Ammm.. I got the best girlfriend in the universe, my lady, May
I'm 17 years old, but acting like a 14 years old guy...
I am childish (I guess that's why I hate my parents... and my teachers, and school in general, and loads of other stuff)
I am sencere (I like telling the truth... weird uh?)
Mmm.. I like putting capital letters in the beginning of each sentence, and I am very strict about that in song names, I like put them in the beginning of each word... (WEIRDO!!!)
But, hey, that's me... Not good for you? Nothing I can do...
Anyways, I think I'll let go now..
See ya sometimes!
This is my first post...
Ammm... have nothing to write right now...
I'll tell you a little bit about myself:
Me is PhistucK :)
From Israel
Ammm.. I got the best girlfriend in the universe, my lady, May
I'm 17 years old, but acting like a 14 years old guy...
I am childish (I guess that's why I hate my parents... and my teachers, and school in general, and loads of other stuff)
I am sencere (I like telling the truth... weird uh?)
Mmm.. I like putting capital letters in the beginning of each sentence, and I am very strict about that in song names, I like put them in the beginning of each word... (WEIRDO!!!)
But, hey, that's me... Not good for you? Nothing I can do...
Anyways, I think I'll let go now..
See ya sometimes!
Labels: Failure