2003-05-21
Had a rough night, lots of crying, couldn't sleep.
Every song reminded me of her..
I got our song out of the list, but still it's always finding its way back into my head..
Remembered of her so many times, you know what? it's not so many times, it's all the time, I can't stop thinking about her..
She was my light
She turned herself off
But I'm still looking for the button
So I could turn her on again
I can't let go
Even if I wanted to (which I'm not)..
I told her some really yucky stuff yesterday's night, but, I mean, can you blame me? I'm fucking hurt, damn it!
I love her, she says she loves me, her problem is the commitment, she cannot be fully commited to people...
Too bad uh?
Yap..
Well, there's nothing I can do at the moment... besides I don't know, besides everything.
I love her.
She says she loves me.
We're not together.
I never understood that kind of stuff, when two people love each other, there shouldn't be anything more so they could have a relationship...
But everyone says there should be more, I don't understand that.
She betrayed my trust, but it's still there, damn it, it's still there, I still trust her...
I still want her, and need her, and love her, and miss her, and crave for her, and want to be there for her, and want her to be there for me, but as it seems now, there won't be any being there for none of us, she doesn't want to bring it back.
She says, I've changed, she and Lutzush told me I've changed.
Lutzush was at least able to explain herself, she says I've change like for the fact that I'm reading, which is pretty funny, because I don't like to read but I read every single word of her posts\letters\poems\monologs\stories.
May says I've changed.
How?
My attention to the world, has changed, like I act different or something, and frankly, I don't see it, and neither my friends (other than Lutzush or The Little who says she sees me in a whole different light, because I'm not naive anymore or something, because I've experienced stuff that I've never experienced before)... anyways, I'm off.
See Ya!
Every song reminded me of her..
I got our song out of the list, but still it's always finding its way back into my head..
Remembered of her so many times, you know what? it's not so many times, it's all the time, I can't stop thinking about her..
She was my light
She turned herself off
But I'm still looking for the button
So I could turn her on again
I can't let go
Even if I wanted to (which I'm not)..
I told her some really yucky stuff yesterday's night, but, I mean, can you blame me? I'm fucking hurt, damn it!
I love her, she says she loves me, her problem is the commitment, she cannot be fully commited to people...
Too bad uh?
Yap..
Well, there's nothing I can do at the moment... besides I don't know, besides everything.
I love her.
She says she loves me.
We're not together.
I never understood that kind of stuff, when two people love each other, there shouldn't be anything more so they could have a relationship...
But everyone says there should be more, I don't understand that.
She betrayed my trust, but it's still there, damn it, it's still there, I still trust her...
I still want her, and need her, and love her, and miss her, and crave for her, and want to be there for her, and want her to be there for me, but as it seems now, there won't be any being there for none of us, she doesn't want to bring it back.
She says, I've changed, she and Lutzush told me I've changed.
Lutzush was at least able to explain herself, she says I've change like for the fact that I'm reading, which is pretty funny, because I don't like to read but I read every single word of her posts\letters\poems\monologs\stories.
May says I've changed.
How?
My attention to the world, has changed, like I act different or something, and frankly, I don't see it, and neither my friends (other than Lutzush or The Little who says she sees me in a whole different light, because I'm not naive anymore or something, because I've experienced stuff that I've never experienced before)... anyways, I'm off.
See Ya!
Labels: Failure